The astute reader has surely noticed that I use profanity in my writing. The reason for this is simple: that is how I speak. When it is situationally appropriate, when it is funny, or when I stub my toe, I let loose. So, when I write, I don't add superfluous expletives, but I do not erase those that serve a purpose or occur in conversation. Doing so would be disingenuous, and that is not my aim in writing.
In my life, as in my writing, I try to adhere to guidelines for cursing. Bad words are the black pepper of language: a little adds a kick, and any more is overwhelming. Below, I will list a few of the more common uses of profanity and lay out my personal guidelines.
First, there are times when one should abstain from cursing altogether. As a general rule, I confine cussin’ to use among my peer group. Now, that is a loose term, but broadly, I don't drop F-bombs around my boss, and I don't talk about 'that GD idiot on the road,' in front of the kids.
I waive this rule on the rare occasion when, in the company of a superior, I believe swearing would add valuable punctuation to a situation. But only when that superior has previously broken the cuss-word barrier. On these occasions, it is the rarity of such language that lends it hilarity. An excellent example of this effect is the TV show The Office: throughout the 201 episodes, there are no more than a half-dozen words bleeped out. On each occasion, the mere suggestion of profanity is potent.
That spoken curse words often serve in the stead of 'very' or 'really' means one may substitute a more precise single word, e.g., fucking hurts → excruciating, shitty friend → untrustworthy, damned mess → chaotic.
And, predictably, I curse in surprise or pain, often with no regard for those around me.
Finally, profanity is often used to insult someone: fucker, cocksucker, bitch, etc. These insults fall into the categories of good-natured or ill-intended.
Good-natured insults are common among tradesmen and the ability to take and teal such verbal assaults is as fundamental a skill to blue-collar work as framing squarely or stacking dimes on a weld. Such coarse language fosters the camaraderie that can only come from men who have physical proof of their value, such as craftsmen, skilled laborers, and soldiers. Be wary of this sort of profane game in an office environment as men here rarely have tangible metrics for their contributions and are therefore more sensitive to ad hominem attacks.
However, using curses as honest and ill-intended insults is childish and should be avoided. Most often, a young man will best serve himself by holding his tongue in these cases. However, when an insult-in-earnest is appropriate, profanity is a distant second to precise and tailored words. Instead of calling a rival suitor a 'piece of shit,' one might attack his pride by saying, 'You couldn't lose your virginity if it fell down a well.'
Cursing has limited, albeit potent, opportunity as a tool. Like fire, it has the potential to be useful or devastating to the user. One need not remember all of these rules; each implies the use of judicious conservatism in the application of profanity. Simply remember the golden rule of cursing: when in doubt, don't.